International Marriage

Noel is Indian.
I’m Canadian.

He has skin like chocolate.
Mine is more like milk.

He is a night person.
I function best in the morning.

He runs a little late and I run a little early.

Noel speaks British English.
I speak another kinda English which sometimes leaves us lost in translation.

We are different. Our differences are both visible and invisible to the eye.
Our differences have the potential to break our relationship down or make it stronger.

I’m sure many of you have heard the famous quote “Two are better than one”
I love that! Noel loves that! We are different but we have the exact same foundation in God and that means that our differences come together in the way of strengths. Our individual strengths come together and make us a strong team.

Identify the differences. Take notice of the combined strengths in your relationship and love it. Acknowledge them because that is the source of amazing strength!!

Thankful For My Man

Being away from Tokyo and Noel for a week is an experience.

I have been in the company of some amazing people. People full of potential and hope for the future. Many of them love and follow Jesus and all of them want to add value to other people through sharing from their personal growth experiences.

A few of the people I met have shared their personal challenges and all of them had to do with failed relationships, marriages that have left hurts, and disappointments that affect all aspects of their life.

All this has left me feeling thankful and in love. Maybe you are thinking that this is a strange response to such stories. I agree and found myself a bit surprised as well.

See through hearing of others challenges I have a greater sense of how incredibly blessed I am. How amazing it is to be a part of a healthy church that has incredible teaching on relationships. I have outstanding world class role models and leaders to look up to. I have a wealth of resources I can refer to and great people I can ask questions and seek advice from.

Above all of this I am also married to a man who loves me. He builds me up, he encourages me, he sacrifices for me, he urges me on in our visions and passions, we make a great team and I LOVE doing life with him.

I want to encourage you. Don’t settle for A marriage. Dont get frustrated if you think God is taking too long. Wait on God by getting ready for the best marriage, a marriage with two committed partners, loving God and loving people together. This marriage is SO worth the wait. This type of marriage is a beacon light for the world. A model that the world so desperately needs. This is a marriage that is going to inspire and build up the next generation by giving them an amazing foundation to stand on!!

Is This The ONE?

Two important decisions that affects every aspect of our lives …
1. Our decision to follow Jesus
2. Who we decide to marry.

Between decision one and decision two there is a very common questions … one that I asked myself as well … is this THE ONE?

Factor One – Am I ready? Decision one is following Jesus!! We need to make sure that our relationship with Jesus is strong and growing. This is the foundation for our marriage, our source of love an confidence!! How is your relationship with Jesus??

Factor Two – Thinking about that special someone… Do you have the same values? Can you grow together? Do you have fun together? Can you share the same vision? Can you imagine an amazing adventurous life together?

THE Factor – Once you say ‘I Do’ that is THE ONE! For me Noel is the only one! There is no one else for me. Being married and committed to your partner makes them the only one. Your partner is your perfect match! As you grow with your partner your love for each other will also grow!!!

New Heart

One of my all time favorite scriptures…

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. (Ezekiel 36:26, 27 NIV)

When I first started dating Noel I wasn’t sure if I knew what love was. To be honest I liked the phrase “I like you” more and “I love you.”
‘Like’ had more meaning to be because it hadn’t been over used or misused in my life.

When I heard that God could give me a new heart, one of flesh that was capable of love and that I could have His Spirit in me to guide me on this new learning adventure I knew things would change.

I still hold tight to this promise of God. It helped me throw away old thinking and embrace love.
Love from God.
Love for God.
Love for my husband.

Now, everyday we exchange I Love You in our words an actions – it holds so much meaning.

Before I go to bed every night I give Noel a kiss and we exchange “I Love You.” This is such a special way for me to end each day. It is a reminder of what God has done in my heart and how he continues to guide me!

Committed Companion

Companionship is a great word to describe one of the highlights of married life. Having a committed partner to do life with is so amazing.

I love that Noel and I are committed.

We are committed to each other. There is no one else for me. Noel is the only one. We were brought together by God, we made a promise and we enjoy every day of that promise.

We are committed to God. Both of us made a decision to follow Jesus and this gives us the same values and principles to live by. Living together in this way means the both of us grow. We grow in our relationship with God, we grow closer together in our marriage and we grow stronger in our values and principles.

We are committed to an amazing church community. I love Jesus Lifehouse. It is an amazing community that teaches the basics of Christian living so well! It is a strong, vibrant, joyful, exciting, supportive and encouraging community. Noel and I get SO much added to our lives through this community it inspires us to live generously.

We are committed to being generous. Because we have both received – and continue to receive – so much we want to give to others. Every month we think of different ways we can be generous, we make a plan, pray and follow through. We have a lot of fun doing this together

Married Life

Married life is fantastic! It is definitely next level and different from single life.

I love that there is always someone to eat with. I love eating and I really enjoy quality time over food with Noel!!

Traveling together has become a bit of a hobby for Noel and I. Long flights, stop overs and new destinations have never been so much fun. We get to explore and experience new places together. A partner in the adventure and we collect great memories!!

Companionship. I love doing life with a committed partner. I could write a whole post on the benefits of doing life with a committed partner – actually I will look forward to that tomorrow!!

Growing Love. My experience in marriage is that I love Noel more as time goes by. When we said “I Do” I was in love and one year later I felt even more love and excitement about our marriage. This year I have experienced that multiply again. Love Grows! Love Multiplies!

I love being married to Noel!!

The X Factor

An Ex-relationship usually leads to a big question. Can you still be friends after the breakup?

I know a lot of you might be thinking yes, it is no problem we can still be friends.

I used to think the same way and then I started an amazing God centered relationship with Noel.

Through my own experience I learned that to fully give myself to my marriage partner I have to do just that.
Give 100%.
By still being connected to an ex – even if it is just Facebook, Twitter or instant messaging – I couldn’t give 100% to Noel.

I think it comes down to a question on intimacy. I think we feel like if sexual intimacy doesn’t exists we can keep the relationship. But in marriage there is more to intimacy than sex. Don’t get me wrong sex is very important but intimacy includes sharing more. Sharing thoughts, challenges, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. It is possible to still be intimate with an ex even without having sex, if that is the case then how can you give 100% to your partner??

So, for me I said goodbye. Goodbye on Facebook, goodbye on twitter, goodbye to coffee, goodbye to instant messaging, goodbye on email.

The result has been amazing. My relationship with Noel has a foundation of trust and intimacy. He is the ONLY one for me!!!

Healing

Can old relationship wounds and scars be healed?
Can I really have a great marriage if I come from a family history of broken marriages?
Can I have an amazing marriage if I have made mistakes myself??

Yes, yes, YES!!!

What is impossible with man is possible with God!!

Healing comes from Jesus and what he accomplished on the cross. Let me paint a picture for you.

I am standing on the edge of one cliff. I look across and I see healing, restoration, hope, joy and a future. I see God. But as I go to take a step I realize the gap between me and God is way to big for me to cross on my own. I look down thinking maybe there is another way and all I see are my mistakes, regrets, hurts, pains; I see my sin. I can’t get to God and the life, the marriage, I desire.

This is where Jesus comes into the picture. Jesus lived a perfect life – no sin. He died on the cross in exchange for my sins. It was an exchange; like buying a new car, you give the cash you get the car. Except he paid with his life – and gave me a new healed and whole life – PRICELESS!!!

He was buried and then three days later he rose from the dead. This is miraculous. This officially put all my sin to death. It also did another miraculous thing – it built a bridge between the two cliffs where I stand and where a life with God begins. Through Jesus I am made right with God, I can get to Him, I can get to know Him, and I can live my life with Him guiding me!!!

Walking across this bridge that Jesus made is easy. It is there right now waiting for you! Simply invite Jesus into our life. It is through inviting Jesus into our life and living on the other side of the cliff with God that we receive healing.

A simple prayer gets you across …

Dear Jesus,
I believe in you.
Thank you for forgiving me.
Come into my life and I will follow you!!

Now you can follow Jesus into an amazing healed and whole future and into amazing relationships!!!

The Past

Don’t focus on the negatives of the past. They can be like a trap that prevents you from enjoying your future.

A few famous quotes can help us here!!! “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. (Isaiah 43:18 MSG) It is really hard to enter into a great relationship with a special some if all you are thinking about is past relationships. Get ready, resolve any hurts in your heart and then be alert for an awesome brand new thing!!

We can receive healing from the past, if there are hurts there, from Jesus and what He accomplished on the cross.

No matter what your past looks like you can have a HOT, loving AWESOME marriage!! Look forward to it! Get ready for it!

It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then. (LEWIS CARROLL, Alice in Wonderland).
With Jesus we are made new. We receive forgiveness, a new heart and a helping hand to walk freely into the future – an amazing marriage!!

You can never plan the future by the past. (EDMUND BURKE, letter to a Member of the National Assembly).
Your marriage is not in any way dependent on your past. Plan your future with God and He will show you and lead you into hope, joy, peace and excitement!!!

Be Ready For This (adjusting to living together)

No matter how much you think you know your partner before you are married there is always more to learn, experience and love once you are married and living together.

I love living with Noel. It truly is living the truth of the bible – two are better than one! Our differences make us stronger together!!

We make a good team.

There were some things for the two of us that we had to adjust to. I’m a morning person and he is a night person. We had to learn what time was best for us to spend quality time. Too early or too late just didn’t work.

I like to be prepared in advance Noel is more of a last minute person so we both had to learn a new system. I had to slow down a bit an Noel had to get a bit faster!!

Learning to cook for more than one! Learning how to cook healthy for two. I’m not much of a chef but I’m glad to have friends who are good cooks and love to share their recipes and inspiration with me.

Adjusting to and learning to live with my husband has been – and still is – FUN. We are enjoying every bit of the journey and it really gets better and better. Married life is the best!!